Thinking through a troubled marriage PART 2

 

 

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UNDERLYING CAUSES II

 

Proverbs 11 v 29 He who brings trouble on his marriage will inherit only wind.

I mentioned that there are three underlying causes for marital unhappiness but gave only two. Here is the third:

It is very unlikely that any change will take place in an unhappy marriage without taking God into account. What possible motivation could there be to stop an affair, an addiction, a lifestyle, an attitude when everything is already out in the open and the innocent partner cannot actually do anything about it? Rather it is likely that there may be momentary moments of guilt, sorrow or shame with periods of smooth running before returning to the old sins. Everybody wants to have a faithful marriage partner and it is devastating when unfaithfulness occurs. It is the absence of the fear of God and the motivation to live morally and ethically that fearing God brings. Sometimes an offender may develop a disregard for the consequences of his or her destructive behaviour, and this hurtful behaviour may become more open and blatant.

The offender has made a choice to ignore or at least live with the disappointment and the condemnation of the family. As for God? Well He is so far away and too unreal – so people take their chances and often let the pieces fall wherever they may.

Unless there is a real belief in a God who is truly just and fair and will call to account all those who destroy their families amongst all the other evils of this world, the guilty party will never stop. If you have no fear of God, why should you bother? The obvious course of action then is to live for yourself. So, all unhappiness then is because somebody is doing something wrong. For happiness to be recaptured the one who is doing wrong must stop. They must give the marriage space to recover and time to heal. But why should they if they do not fear God? Without meaningful change in bad or irresponsible behaviour, there is a real possibility that your marriage may end.

Proverbs 1:7 says: “The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Do you need to think in the right way about your family? Do you need wisdom to know how to move forward? The first step is to give God His rightful place in your life. He will give you a new “grid” for your life; you will see things differently and make different decisions. , The alternative is disaster.

Prayer:- O God, we confess that we have left you out of our lives. Please forgive us and help us to truly turn to you. Amen

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