Thinking through a troubled marriage PART 3

 

beads wire

The Real loses

Proverbs 15 v 17 Better is a dish of vegetables where love is, than a fattened ox and hatred with it.

Some homes have everything but love.  What is the point of having all the latest conveniences when your home is full of hostility?

Have you thought for a moment of what you lose when you lose your marriage?

a. You lose your partner. This is the person God has provided for you. The one who loved you unconditionally and was willing to stand by you no matter what. But you have brought such circumstances to bear that no flesh and blood can stand it so she or he must leave.

 

b. You lose the respect not only of your spouse but your children as well. For years they will bear the scars of your selfish action.

 

c. You lose the opportunity of influencing your children for good and equipping them for life. What a price to pay and what fools we human beings can become. They will carry your influence throughout their lives.

 

Jesus said: Matthew 18 v 6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

 

Who knows what bad seed you planted in their lives that may be perpetuated in the future? Remember the words of the wise man in Proverbs 22 v 6. “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.” If you train your child to be Godly that is well and good. But the principle also applies if you teach your child to be evil. You may do so without intending to, of course.  But your actions, your behaviour, your language – all say to your child – THIS IS THE WAY, WALK IN IT.!!   Their only hope maybe is to encounter someone who will present an alternative to those parents who bring trouble to their own homes. God may be pleased to overrule your bad example and put a good seed into their hearts, but somebody needs to present your children with an alternative model and the hope that Jesus Christ brings into the home at all levels.

 

d. You lose out financially as you may now have to support the family you destroyed as well as yourself and any other family you may have. To wreck your family is to make a bed of nails for yourself. Well does God’s word warn us “He who sows wickedness reaps trouble” Proverbs 22 v 8

 

e. You lose your own sense of self-respect. You live always with a shadow of guilt. You may play bravado and give the impression of being care free and happy but the little worm of conscience gnaws away at the unexpected moments especially when the children need money for something or other. Then it is usually an argument which adds to the overall problem of unaffordability which in turn leads to further regret and guilt. This in turn may lead to increasing anger and anger often displays itself in depression. Take your choice.

 

Be realistic about your marriage. These words are not intended to answer all the difficult questions about marriage but rather to give you a foothold in thinking about your marriage tensions. There are at least seven things that must be in place for your marriage to work. If not, your relationship will be fragile, to say the least. But the good news is that no matter how faulty or fragile, all relationships can be saved if God is obeyed and His Gospel is believed. What follows are seven considerations for you to think through as you contemplate the future of your marriage.

 

Prayer: Dear Lord what a fool I have been. How could I allow the most valuable things in my life to slip away from me.  Please have mercy on me and help our marriage to recover. Amen

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